The Evil Overlord of Domino High
by shematite
Summary: The Overlord rules over the student body with an iron fist. It's up to Yugi to defeat him, mostly since no one believes him. Basically the result of writer's block on my serious story and too much sugar: Don't worry, there will be more chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, everyone! So, deciding I needed a break from the doom and gloom, I decided to write a crack fic. For future reference, know that I was not actually on crack while writing this. Enjoy!

XD

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was sixth period.

Kaiba ran his eyes over the newest corner of his kingdom, a smirk flickering across his lips. It had been too easy, really. And to think...all of this could have been stopped if only someone had thought to wonder if he, Seto Kaiba, was actually telling the truth when he said he didn't believe in all that magic crap.

_Meanwhile, thousands of miles away..._

"Grandpa!" Yugi cried angrily as he burst out of his room, struggling into his school uniform. "Why didn't you wake me up? I can't _believe_ I slept through all eleven of my alarms!"

"Sweetie!" his mom called out from the kitchen. "Could you come here for a bit?"

Heaving a sigh that weighed as much as Tristan, Yugi walked into the kitchen. "Mom, I'm late for school..."

She blinked at him, confused. "But school's nearly over, now. You might as well stay home."

"I can't do that!" Yugi cried, waving his arms in the air like a deranged windmill. "I'll get beat up tomorrow!"

Mom frowned. "Yugi," she said, solemnity cloaking her form. "There's something very important I need to ask you."

Startled by his mother's change in demeanor, Yugi sat at the table, his palms pressed firmly to the wood of the table. After a few awkward moments, he managed to speak. "What is it, Mom?"

A single tear traced its way down her cheek. "Why did 4kids edit me out?"

Yugi blinked. "What?"

"It's not like they had to do that, you know," she continued. "It wasn't even a large edit. Am I so insignificant that they had to give themselves extra work to get rid of me?" She leaned over and put her hands on Yugi's shoulders. "That's why I've come up with a plan, Yugi."

Confused, Yugi thought it best to humor her. "What's the plan, Mom?"

She grinned. "I'm going to kill myself!"

"What?!"

"Oh, don't worry," she said. "Just a little bit. And then Grandpa's going to decide to remodel the Game Shop, so he'll ask you if you have someone you can stay with during the remodeling. You'll say yes, of course, because that's the way you are, even though Tristan's house is too crowded, Joey's is too scary and Tea is so annoying you'd rather kill yourself with a steak. So, you'll buy yourself a tent and live in the woods for six weeks, doing your best to keep anyone from finding out what's going on like a complete moron. In time, the mysterious and highly attractive prince of Domino High will find out you're living on his family's land, and he will take it upon himself to invite you to stay with him, even though his family is actually cursed to be possessed by the animals of the zodiac, and there will be a dragon, and a dog..."

"Bye, Mom."

"Bye, Sweetie! See you after school! That is, if I haven't killed myself, yet!"

_Meanwhile, back at the ranch..._

Kaiba fought back the urge let out a round of maniacal, yet extremely sexy, laughter. There would be time enough for laughter when all of his plans had come to fruition.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, Kaiba?"

"In fact, Mister Moutou," he smiled at Yugi's grandfather. "There is. Tomorrow is Friday, and I have decided that there will be a party at your game shop tomorrow night."

Yugi's grandfather _beamed_. "That sounds wonderful!"

"It does, indeed," Kaiba responded. "Be sure to let Yugi know so that he can tell all of his friends, alright?"

"I will; you can be sure of it!"

It took every ounce of Kaiba's self control to not lean back thoughtfully and murmur the word "Excellent..."

_...to be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you, tinkletimekelly, for pointing out my sad, sad lack of disclaimer-ness :)

_The next day..._

Yugi sighed. He really hated the bullies at his school, sometimes.

"Read it, you little punk!"

He took the piece of paper from the bully waving it in his face and began to read out loud in a dull, monotonous voice.

"Shematite would like to take this advantage to break the fourth wall and write her disclaimer at the same time. She does not own Yugioh, Fruits Basket, the Evil Overlord List, Industrial Illusions, Tsubasa Reservior Chronicles, Batman, Little Kuriboh, twenty sex slaves, Discworld, a banana, The Forbidden Word (Disney), Tim Burton, or anything else she may accidentally or not so accidentally reference in this fic."

Yugi lowered the paper and fixed the bullies with a glare. "You should just beat me up now and get it over with. What kind of bullies make me read disclaimers anyway?"

The bully with the thickest neck shrugged in a manner that made him look oddly like an orangutan trying to shimmy. "We just do what the Master tells us. Beating you up is not actually on our list of things to do. If you would like us to give you a black eye or something, you could take your request to our Master."

"Uh...that's alright. I think I'll pass on this one."

"Are you sure?" said the tallest bully, who also happened to be the one with the worst acne.

"Yeah," Yugi smiled. "If I change my mind I'll get back to you guys, okay?"

As they turned to shuffle mindlessly away, one last question occured to Yugi. "Who is this 'Master' anyway?"

The bully with thw biggest biceps turned and fixed Yugi with a disturbingly zombie-like stare. "You seek the Great One whom it is unlawful that men should seek.." he whispered mysteriously before hulking around a corner and out of Yugi's sight.

Needless to say, Yugi's mother wasn't much help.

"Oh, but I have the _best_ plan, Yugi-muffin!"

Quietly contemplating how long it would take for his mashed potatoes to evolve legs, Yugi merely nodded in his mother's direction. "Yes, mother."

"Well, you see, I figured out that you actually have a long-lost twin brother."

Yugi snorted his gravy out his nose.

"And he's your _evil_ twin," she sighed happily, clasping her spoon in both hands lovingly. "He's framed you for his wicked deeds, and now you must roam the earth, seeking to right the wrongs done in your name and solve the mystery of your missing memories. You'll eventually find out that you're not human, of course, perhaps some freaky cyborg-slash-alien genetic experiment. And even though it will turn out I'm not your real mother, you'll still cherish your memories of me long after I am gone."

Yugi began to wonder if she had been reading his journal, and had somehow missed every other page. Had she figured out about Yami?

"I should call that nice Kaiba boy. I'll bet that he would be willing to put a $$60 billion price on your head..."

"Whoah, Mom," Yugi said. "You don't need to have Kaiba put a price on my head...how do you know Kaiba, anyways?"

"Oh, didn't your grandpa tell you?" She pirouhetted across the kitchen tile. "You're having a party tonight and all your friends are invited. You should really start getting ready..."

Somehow Yugi just _knew_ tonight was not going to end well.


End file.
